You hear a pop and suddenly, a pope Is seated on a log inside the loge, The janitor with mop begins to mope About the dog who's suddenly a doge. Below, they watch a stag upon the stage While one man on his date's nape takes a nap, And since she's on the rag, she's … Continue reading December 3rd: Some Enchanted E-vening

Five years ago we bought a lemon tree And put it in a smallish square of dirt Never suspecting that the BBC Its usefulness with silly would subvert, Whose groundwork was laid out on our vacations, With Smotherses and Freberg ever playing, Developing my aural inclinations For humor I had small hope of repaying. But … Continue reading November 18: We Built This Citrus

I tossed the birdie high into the sky Then spiked it with my trusty ping-pong paddle Alas, my shrewd opponent did decry The placement of my flag preceding battle, But lo, he stood in a reversal zone, And so my penalty on him would fall Through song and dance my error to atone, Except I … Continue reading November 5: Sport

Too long my work day stretched into the dusk- As a result, plucked shelving coasted free, And bustled flimsy sausages with musk Whilst funding porridge uniformity. The tasks undone left my exhausted brain In gabled tortoises of clearest loam, Foretold acrostic corduroy terrain, And shortly cracked the unsung magic chrome. If you need sense or … Continue reading October 15: An Incoherent Whatsit

This afternoon we drove down to the pub And saw that we had already arrived, For parked fortuitously near to a shrub, The model, make, and color that we drive. And since the street had no more empty space, With our past selves we felt a little vexed That by their lingering we were displaced, … Continue reading October 12: Versa Vice

Dear Place of Work, Ms. Weber won't be in Today, tomorrow, possibly all week. She suffers from a lack of keratin Upon her toes, and maladies unique: I diagnose presymptomatic states Pertaining to her oddly sound psychosis: Ideopathic syndrome, which dictates A somewhat unpredictable prognosis. And therefore, I prescribe a regimen Of neuroactive exercises, such … Continue reading September 30: Mental Health Day

A drink of water didn't do the trick, Nor hic did holding breath and swallowing, And scaring me won't happen, trust me. hic Rather, hic I'm self-pity-wallowing. I'll suck hic lemon, breathe into a bag, Though by these remedies I can't be cured- I can't go back a meal and this time lag, So to … Continue reading September 12: A Spoonful of Sugar