Dear Place of Work, Ms. Weber won’t be in
Today, tomorrow, possibly all week.
She suffers from a lack of keratin
Upon her toes, and maladies unique:

I diagnose presymptomatic states
Pertaining to her oddly sound psychosis:
Ideopathic syndrome, which dictates
A somewhat unpredictable prognosis.

And therefore, I prescribe a regimen
Of neuroactive exercises, such
As media that features certain men
Exemplifying attributes nonesuch.

I recommend the treatment start forthwith.
Respectfully, Sincerely, Dr. Smith