Keep dogs away from bushes on your walks,
For food and varmints draw them by the nose.
With rubber boots, eschew short cotton socks
Unless you like them crumpled at your toes.

When eating ramen, cool it as you slurp.
Gel pads in old brassieres can spring a leak.
Horchata plus prosecco equals burps
That past pina coloadas do bespeak.

A sled is not a surfboard- you can’t steer.
Machines work better when you turn them on.
You catch more flies with cognac than with beer.
And smiling for a camera makes you yawn.

Such lessons may not be much fun to learn,
But laughter at recounting them’s well-earned.