They say the penis mightier than the sword,
But sometimes writing makes one’s conscience prick-
It’s hard on one to keep one’s own accords,
If one does, celebrate with spotted dick–

For cheap laughs are a tool one should not use,
And if you find that door and turn the knob
The package that you find could well amuse,
It could cock up your image or your job.

If your tumescence threatens to emerge,
Suppress it so it won’t come to a head.
A shaft of light will baser urges purge,
As Auden or Longfellow might have said.

As triumph makes joy stick to virtue, thus
Our honest manhood truly becomes us.

Inspiration: Sonnet 128, which is actually an extended harpsichord metaphor, but I choose to ignore that. JUVENILE!