We are the sum of our experiences,
So having been a lifeguard in my youth
I’m good at seeing past appearances,
Especially when they contradict the truth.

So if a lazy parent thinks state law
Does not apply to him or to his brood,
For liability cares not a straw,
And to the pool attendant is quite rude,

When he claims they’re lap swimming- clearly guff-
And thinks his word excuses the offenders,
I do not hesitate to call his bluff
And have those kids swim laps ’til they surrender.

Transgression loses charm when it’s not fun.
Jerk: 0, Former-Lifeguard Libby: 1.